Heero vs. The Backstreet Boys
by HeeraM
Summary: The whole PG-13 thing is for violence and cusing, lots of Relena bashing/killing. As the title says! R&R please!(please review, it helps to know whats good and what isnt)


*note* I don't own Gundam wing, and I don't want to own Backstreet boys(who the hell would???)  
  
Heero vs. Backstreet Boys  
  
The intercom of Wing Zero flashed white and Dr.J appeared, "Heero I have a new mission for you.... you must destroy the teen pop retar...I mean sensation, the Backstreet boys". "Why do I have to waste my time killing a couple of idiots?" Heero monotoned. Then he remembered how much Relena said she loves the Backstreet boys.... "Mission accepted". Heero powered up Wing Zero for in his point of view 'an easy mission', But boy did he underestimate the power of over a million teenyboppers. When he arrived at their concert in Columbus, Ohio, he had to face his first difficulty, getting in. He walked up to the counter and said in an unemotional tone "give me a ticket", but the prep behind the counter replied in a very squeaky voice " Um.. yeah we like, totally sold out!". Heero pulled out his lovely M-16 and replied in the same tone "If you don't let me in this god damned concert you wont see the light of day again". "Um like okay, like this way!" the prep said in a panicky yet still extremely squeaky voice, and she led Heero into the stadium. When he got in he shot the prep anyway, "oops". He faced yet another challenge going through the teenyboppers, of course this is not too much of a problem for the "perfect soldier", he just wiped out his handy gun and shot his way through the crowd. When he reached the stage he aimed for the one in middle, just instinct I guess. Well the one in the middle was Brian, and now he had a few more holes in his head. The teenyboppers suddenly shrieked, but one voice stood out, it was too familiar "BRIIIIAAAAAAAN!!!!!!". That squeal could not be mistaken, so Heero jumped up on the stage. There was another squeal "HEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOO!!!!". Heero saw an object moving quickly towards him through the crowd. So he let all hell lose and the bullets ripped through Relena's body, but surprisingly she was still moving. So Heero ran as quickly as his legs could carry him, on his way out of the stadium he through a nice big grenade behind him. He dove into a ditch as the stadium exploded. "Mission comle--" Heero began but then he saw four figures emerge from the ruble. "Their still alive?!?!?!, what the hell dose it take to kill a few retards?". Heero jumped up and ran after the slow moving silhouettes. As he closed in he backhanded one to the ground, the others screamed in intense fear and sped up a little. Heero returned for the kill, then he thought to himself "I have better uses for you Howie". Nick, A.J. and Kevin ran into an abandoned theatre. It was very dark and guess who was lurking in the darkness, if you guessed Heero then you were right. He was prepared to execute his evil plan. Howie's body hung next to Heero on almost invisible strings, he was dressed in a scream costume with a huge knife in his hand. Heero flung Howie's body toward the petrified dumbasses, the knife pinned A.J. up against the wall. "Ahhhh he's got me!!!" he yelled scared out of his very small mind. After a few minutes of being stabbed he reacted, he grabbed a flat object and beat the hell out of the unconscious Howie. Howie stopped breathing and A.J. pushed Howie out of the way. His arm was bleeding, and he was very paranoid. He pulled of the mask and realized he had beaten Howie to death, "NOOOOOOOO" he cried out. He started shaking wildly and slid down and leaned against the wall. By the time Nick and Kevin found A.J. he was totally psychotic. "I killed him!" he cried out. Heero was hidden in the shadows behind the curtain. He started whispering to A.J.. "Kevin made you do it, he must pay". "Kevin made me do it" A.J. repeated as he slowly proceeded towards Kevin. Heero chuckled slightly in his hiding place. Then he said "good boy, now go get him" and handed A.J. a machete, Kevin ran around like a chicken with its head cut off. A.J. decapitated Kevin, and his headless body ran around in circles till it hit the wall and collapsed. "I killed Kevin!!!" A.J. wailed. Then he decapitated himself, ran around in circles, slammed into the wall, tripped over Kevin's body and fell over. Nick ran out of the theater crying his eyes out. Heero let out his infamous, evilly, insane laughter, and said in a voice just as evil "one more to go". He carefully stalked the paranoid Nick. He spotted a Fox news camera crew and came up with another brilliant idea. He killed the workers and took the equipment. Heero steathfully followed Nick to a dead end. Then he set up the camera and turned it on. He shot a close up of his face and said "How to burn an annoying asshole from the Backstreet boys, By Heero Yuy". Heero then proceeded towards nick with a lovely flamethrower. He caught Nicks hair on fire and watched it all burn off, as Nick cried "My hair! no!". Then he caught Nick's whole body on fire, and watched amused by the running flame. Nick fell to the ground dead, and Heero did another close up and said was "That was the last Backstreet boy, I guess that makes them extinct doesn't it?". After he made sure it was broadcasted to all colony's and all over earth, he turned off the camera. He tuned around to walk away when something creped toward him, it was the charred remains of something, so he pulled out his trusty gun again (lets just call him trigger happy) and aimed at "it". As it got closer he realized it was the royal pain in the ass, Relena. "Heero, you can't kill me!" she cried as she reached for his foot, but he reacted quickly and stomped on her hand and yelled at her "NO TOUCHY!". He unloaded his clip into Relena and walked away. When he got back to Wing Zero, by the scraps of the stadium, he called up Dr. J. And this is what he said "Mission Accomplished, there were a few civilian casualties" and then with a grin very un-Heero like on his face he said "Any other pop stars I can destroy?"  
  
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Likey? No likey? review please, this was made in Co-production with my buddy, while my other buddy, Washu, slept. But that is in no way related to the story so don't talk about how I'm a lunatic in the review!   



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